Samantha, on her last day of elementary school, found the transition difficult, so she stayed in the cupboard.
Autism Household will be a regular feature of this blog because, frankly, there is no getting away from it. In one form or another, this is our daily life.
Example #1: Today.
Sam is in school today, after the three-day Presidents' Day weekend, which had been preceeded by an illness that had Sam at home for three out of five school days. So, as we saw our beloved daughter off onto the little bus this morning, I had grand visions of accomplishment and productivity dancing through my head. But it was not to be. Not smoothly, at any rate.
My computer was not cooperating. It was not starting up properly or shutting down. It was refusing to read a disc that I know has photos on it. It was also taking forever and a day to load anything. The problem?
When Sam is home, she completely takes over our bedroom. How this works in practice is that the black curtains remain shut, creating a dark cave; our covers are thrown off the bed onto the floor in a heep; my reading lamp is placed into the bed so that Sam can color and trace a few of the thousands of color sheets and movie covers that she prints off every day; our pillows are rearranged to her satisfaction; snacks, including chips, are eaten in our bed; for some reason plastic water bottles are bitten on the bottom and left standing on their caps so that she can suck water out of the bottom; the boombox is frequently played at top volume, as is the TV (or it's on mute with closed captions), and the computer, too, is at maximum volume, playing her favorite songs and shows. All three usually play simultaneously.
I don't mind sharing. Hell, I had to learn to share with Mick and that was probably harder, though his demands were more reasonable. I do miss having a space of my own, especially when the kids are home. I really miss my computer, my properly-working computer that is, and when the kids are home and occupying themselves, I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels.
I admire what Sam has accomplished and figured out on her own. She is considered severe on the spectrum, after all. Somehow this child has figured out what to type in the search box to lead her to YouTube and some of her favorite videos, music, and shows.
Currently, among her favorites are The Emporer's New Groove and a Disney show called Phineas and Ferb. I can appreciate the writing and humor of these shows, but as another example of life in an autistic household, here is what we frequenty endure at some ungodly hour ( is it 3:00 a.m.? 4:00, 5:00? I don't know because my eyes refuse to focus properly).
So these ungodly early mornings go something like this:
music from the computer: "PHINADROIDS AND FERBOTS! PHINADROIDS AND FERBOTS!"
me: "Sam, turn it down, now!"
Mick: whimper, groan.
The song continues while Sam marches and frolicks from one end of our bedroom to the other. When the video reaches the end, Sam starts it again.
the computer, softly,: "Phinadroids and Ferbots! Phinadroids and Ferbots!"
Sam starts her scampering again, and I manange to get one eye open. I see that she is wide awake with a huge delighted smile on her face. I sigh and try to drift off. But each time that Sam passes the computer, she taps the volume button once or twice and suddenly we realize that we're listening to:
"PHINADROIDS AND FERBOTS! PHINADROIDS AND FERBOTS!"
me: "Sam, turn it WAY down NOW!"
Mick: groan, whimper, and burrow into the covers and pillows, like that's going to do any good.
And so it goes, on and on, over and over.
The real problem with the computer is that Sam only knows one way to get to whatever favorite site she seeks and that is very rarely a direct route. If she found something she liked by clicking through six or eight windows from another site, that is the route she knows and uses. She never closes anything out and she never shuts it down properly. Yes, if I was a responsible mom, a good mom, I would take the time and teach her these things. Maybe that will be next year's resolution.
Why don't I assert my parental authority and just kick her out of our room, make her play in her own room? Because I'm a soft touch and I don't feel like apologizing for it. I will try to justify it, though. Being autistic, there are so many things that other 12 year-olds get to do that Sam probably will never get to do. For example: ride her bike to a friend's house, go to a sleep-over, hang out at the mall without Mom present, etc. So if her current version of fun is loud music, dancing, watching TV and surfing through YouTube, so be it.
If we had a bigger house Sam could have a playroom. In the meantime, Mick and I share with her. When she takes over in the wee hours of the morning and can't be chased back to her own bed anymore, we'll stumble out to the couch and her bed, closing our bedroom door behind us.
So how productive was I today? Well, I've finally transfered this from long hand to the computer. Next, I'll see if I can figure out how to post pictures in the next ten minutes. Then Sam will be home and I'll be kicked out of here again. Another typical day at this house.
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